This story. Our story. Needs a proper introduction. You know, you could even learn from our sins. Unless you’d rather just stick for the dirty parts. Be my guest. This story shall remain partly anonymous in order to protect the innocent. So in the spirit of anonymity call me Nathan.

All of this epic drama started about a year ago. I’m on my way to the station. Not looking for anything. Honestly. I’m moving to a new city to start over, running from my past. He just sat next to me, all of a sudden, just like that. To the barmaid it appeared to be cruising a random hotty. But he is no random hotty, that is for sure.

“Hi, my name is Nathan, who might you be?” I said as he approached me. Of course back then, I used my real name. That day he gave me a feeling I haven’t felt since 8th grade. How he stared at me with those big blue eyes. I felt lustful. Don’t worry, I’m no floozie. I didn’t even got to be in his arms that night, though in my mind I did spend a few short moments in them. Our conversation ended so unexpectedly sudden: My train was leaving.

I put my luggage on the floor and take a seat in second class. Not paying attention to people around me. Out of the window I see Kevin waving at me, obviously disappointed. I had never met somebody like him. I admired him.

That day I did something very bold. I took a chance. I suppose I’m not your typical faghag harlot. Yes, I’m gay. Try to keep up. I don’t like the scene. I don’t like loveless sex, mutual masturbation, darkroom fanatics. I sometimes even considered myself a virgin, apart from my sins, since I never had found someone that I really loved.

The train slowly parted at the station. I’m supposed to be on my way to sign a contract. Instead I threw away my opportunity to get my new appartement. Turning around I take the next first train back ‘home’.

I had never told Kevin that I was moving. Perhaps that was for the best. I chose to stay. I took a chance. For him. It was not “just” lust. Though I became more and more aware of my physical attraction to him. I saw something in him that morning. Something I want to believe in.

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