The entire week my mind was occupied with the thought of having Nathan over at my place. When finally the much anticipated weekend arrived and I got home from a long day there wasn’t much time left to get everything somewhat acceptable. Knowing how hard my dead-end street can be to find in the inner city maze we agreed to meet at a more convenient spot just a block away. “10 minutes before 7, hopefully I’ll have enough time to take a quick shower before he arrives”. I didn’t even notice the phone ringing the first time. Of course Nathan turned up early and tried to call for me to pick him up.. Well, so much for good second impressions.

Once we entered my small apartment and his initial curiosity was satisfied we settled on the lounge couch. While chatting I prepared dinner and picked one of my favourite movies to watch while enjoying the meal. As the evening with us cuddled up together progressed, much to my regret, I noticed it becoming later. Carefully avoiding the subject I slyly hoped to postpone the inevitable farewell. Success! When Nathan finally realized the last bus had already left I of course casually offered him to stay for the night. Sensing his discomfort I quickly added the promise to behave myself.

Morning came way too soon, I had to leave early. With a smile I thought back to last night and had to make sure it was no dream. Looking at the cutie next to me I just couldn’t bring myself to ask him to leave. Telling he could return it next time, I quickly decided to give him my key before leaving in a hurry. This was certainly a first for me but perhaps deep down I already knew he’d never have to return it?

Phew, finally done! These last few days off gave me some time to make a music yaoiplayer for the blog. I was using one from last.fm, but it sucked, it just didn’t play sometimes. So I’ve created one in flash using a tutorial from gotoandlearndotcom. You can activate our working yaoiplayer underneath the “music” section. Sooo. You can stop clicking the player below now, it’s just an image.

Now all that remains is finding music that we can use for free or that can be used under a Creative Commons (CC) licence. It’s hard to find music that matches our explicit taste. *hem*

On -this page- you can find all the songs used, with credits to the author and where the song can be found. A link to this page can always be found under the “other” section of the page.

Here are the permalinks for your bookmarks:

With musicplayer = http://realyaoi.com/
Without musicplayer = http://realyaoi.com/posts/

The next couple of days passed by like dark clouds at night. It’s not until next friday till I’ll hear his cocky remarks again. I hate waiting.

That reminds me. I also hate being late. That’s why I got at the university beforehand. He’s supposed to pick me up here somewhere. But the deadening effect of waiting got a hold of me. He’s late! I didn’t care anymore when I saw the handsome devil, though I was being reluctant to admit so at the time.

Kevin’s appartement was smaller than mine, even the bedroom I peeked in. He’d put on some music while my sweet cheeks found the couch. Surrounded by yellow walls. His beautiful smile put my mind to ease. We started chatting.

The aroma of fried mushrooms filled the appartement. After putting on the vision of escaflowne, a movie, Kevin walked out of the kitchen holding two plates with risotto. I’m impressed. This is the best risotto I have had in years. His risotto together with the wine I brought made love to my taste buds.

Discretely he shuffles towards me. Just an inch. I noticed, of course, but represented myself fictitiously in play as if I didn’t notice and continued eating with a smirk on my face. After three more shuffles he just bumped into me. Unable to tolerate anymore delay I took his arm and placed it around my shoulder. We both smiled timidly and snuggled a bit. It didn’t take long after that before I ended up laying in his arms on the couch.

The tv screen turned black. The movie ended. We didn’t care. “You’re so cute..” he whispered in my ears. I felt a soft kiss on my head. He was a bit embarrassed when I asked what was poking me so firmly against my back. But the kiss I gave him in return released him from his worries again.

The evening had come to an end, time flew like April breezes. I’ve missed my last bus. God, I hate public transport. “Nathan?” Kevin said. “You could sleep over for the night, if you want too” he offered. “I’ll be good” he added. All of my defenses told me to say no. Instead I took a chance. I told him that I’d like to stay with him. I trusted him. Then without warning he rashly ripped of my clothes, hurled me on the bed, and started fucking me hard …Heh, You wish.

The next morning I awoke with him next to me, still sleeping.

…

Entering on a particular windy, rainy and gloomy thursday morning, my eyes searched the lunchroom for a place to sit. For some reason the boy in the corner overlooking the open square through the large viewing windows caught my eye.  Walking closer, “He looks cute!” runs through my mind. Quite unusual for me I decided to take a bold chance and invited myself to his table. My sudden interruption startled him and after introducing ourselves an awkward shyness followed. Yet, once we started talking about our lives the hours passed like one of the fleeting leaves in the gusts of wind around the high flat buildings. All too sudden Nathan had to leave and catch a train. Of course we exchanged contact info and I offered to walk him to the station. During the short walk Nathan seemed to be somewhere else with his mind and disappointed I misinterpreted his sudden silence as rejection. Perhaps I’d been a bit too assertive? Waving him goodbye I kept thinking to myself I’ll probably never see him again. The wind instantly felt a bit colder and the following day my feeling was confirmed with a deafening silence from Nathan.

Much to my surprise a few days later he did eventually show up on MSN. Instantly we started chatting like we’d known each other for a long time already. One thing led to another and much to my astonishment we agreed to meet again, at my place this time. I’d use the opportunity to cook and for a moment I considered preparing an extravagant meal in an effort to impress him. Not being the best cook in the world I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull it off and it just had to be perfect so I decided to take a safe bet and cook one of my favourite meals..

This story. Our story. Needs a proper introduction. You know, you could even learn from our sins. Unless you’d rather just stick for the dirty parts. Be my guest. This story shall remain partly anonymous in order to protect the innocent. So in the spirit of anonymity call me Nathan.

All of this epic drama started about a year ago. I’m on my way to the station. Not looking for anything. Honestly. I’m moving to a new city to start over, running from my past. He just sat next to me, all of a sudden, just like that. To the barmaid it appeared to be cruising a random hotty. But he is no random hotty, that is for sure.

“Hi, my name is Nathan, who might you be?” I said as he approached me. Of course back then, I used my real name. That day he gave me a feeling I haven’t felt since 8th grade. How he stared at me with those big blue eyes. I felt lustful. Don’t worry, I’m no floozie. I didn’t even got to be in his arms that night, though in my mind I did spend a few short moments in them. Our conversation ended so unexpectedly sudden: My train was leaving.

I put my luggage on the floor and take a seat in second class. Not paying attention to people around me. Out of the window I see Kevin waving at me, obviously disappointed. I had never met somebody like him. I admired him.

That day I did something very bold. I took a chance. I suppose I’m not your typical faghag harlot. Yes, I’m gay. Try to keep up. I don’t like the scene. I don’t like loveless sex, mutual masturbation, darkroom fanatics. I sometimes even considered myself a virgin, apart from my sins, since I never had found someone that I really loved.

The train slowly parted at the station. I’m supposed to be on my way to sign a contract. Instead I threw away my opportunity to get my new appartement. Turning around I take the next first train back ‘home’.

I had never told Kevin that I was moving. Perhaps that was for the best. I chose to stay. I took a chance. For him. It was not “just” lust. Though I became more and more aware of my physical attraction to him. I saw something in him that morning. Something I want to believe in.

…

Yay it works! Now we can share our life anonymous on teh internetz and scare straight people